"I lead a small life, valuable, but small"

"I lead a small life, valuable, but small" ~ Kathleen Kelly in You've Got Mail

So often I feel driven to do more. To have a broader range of influence. Pulled in all different directions. And then, there I go again. Running away, retreating, hiding. Dipping my feet in the extrovert's personality only to duck and cover in my cave of a home.

And the people I leave hanging because I have forced myself to do something that, shortly, I will forsake and run from. I am not sure why I do this. Because when I start out, although it is a challenge to try new things, I am usually glad that I've have reached out beyond my comfort zone. But there comes a point where I have had enough and I absolutely turn my back on  it. I have done this with jobs, with people, with projects. 

My intention today was this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "Do one thing everyday that scares you." I guess what I am becoming more aware of is the fact that it is consistent repetition of something that I am scared of, say an unending job or project or need, that unnerves me. It seems that I do better with tackling the extrovert needs on a monthly or seasonal basis. Putting on the calendar: host a Christmas sing-a-long or invite these ladies over for tea or have a card game night with this couple.

But, above all, I need to realize that although my life is small and spent mostly in p.j. pants in the comfiness of my home, I have my big, sweet family that I am constantly giving myself for, you dear friends that I share my heart with as well as my monthly bouts in hosting social gatherings.

Linked at The Better Mom, Time Warp Wife, Growing Home, True Aim Education, We Are That Family, Women Living Well, lowercase letters, Passionate and Creative Homemaking, Consider the Lilies, Raising Homemakers

image from here